Live to Eat Good Food

It’s not about eating the MOST food, it’s about eating the BEST food.

When you are not eating good food, you cannot say, “I’m not hungry.” You must say, “I’m taking a break.” When someone presents you with bad food, you may say, “I’m not hungry.”

You must “take a break” once you’ve eaten your fill of good food. Over-eating of good food will turn you into a Sinner, for you are depleting good food resources that could go towards others. Sharing is caring.

You are not allowed to go 72 hours without good food unless it is physically impossible (i.e. you have been kidnapped and have duct tape over your mouth).

McDonalds is not good food.

You are permitted to swear A LOT upon discovery or revisits of good food (i.e. “THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD,” exclaims WG).

Guu has guud food.

Being a worshipper of the good food also means you must exercise at least once a week to be in shape for the hunt of more good food. If possible, exercise every day.

You’re allowed to eat food when you’re “taking a break”, but not bad food. You must Confess to me if you have eaten Really Bad Food, and I will ask the good food Gods to Forgive you, and then you will get diarrhea and the Really Bad Foods will leave you.

Good food is not necessarily expensive.

Not all people share the same taste in good food (I like olives, other people don’t, but it’s still good food. I hate avocados, some people love it, it is still good food).

If you haven’t eaten good food for 72 hours due to a sickness of addicted to watching How I Met Your Mother or Friends or having a Pixar marathon, you are instantly Forgiven.

Instant noodles are bad food, except for this one brand from like … somewhere in China that’s SO FUCKING GOOD.

Microwave dinners are bad food.

Bad-ass food is not the same as bad food. You are allowed to eat bad-ass food. Dog is NOT bad-ass food.